November 12, 2006

unchartered waters

So.  Last week I confessed to the girls, as we gathered for knitting, with pastries and tea, and all that raunchy talk that’s bound to happen when girls get together.

Well, I didn’t confess so much as say something I never thought I’d say.

You see, not only am I American, but I’ve dated a Jewish guy for the past 6.5 years.  It’s quite possible, among the many, many men I’ve slept with in my life, that one or more of them weren’t circumcised – but Former Boy was really the first one I really paid much attention to.

(Goodness.  After this post, maybe I should go incognito again. *snicker*)

And, I know very well that one of the reasons Former Boy and I stuck it out so long was because of the sex.  We had a spark, something about him lit me up and made things happen that had never happened before.  We didn’t just have sex, we spent hours and hours studying each other, wandering through eacho ther’s landscapes into uncharted territory and for the first time ever, I took note of the scenery.  I took very detailed, serious note.  And hoo boy, did I like what I saw.

Look, I’m just going to come right out and say it: Former Boy had an absolutely lovely, beautiful piece of equipment.  He was Jewish, and he was circumcized, and I went on a few rants with people about the advantages of circumcision.  The old argument among women – “cut or uncut?”… well, it’s clear where I stood.

And I also admit, I was a little frightened, being in Europe and thinking of having to date again, because I know that many Europeans don’t do such things to their parts.

I was TERRIFIED.  Ok, so not only because of the whole circumcision thing  – that would be horribly shallow of me – but the whole idea of sex with another person, after more than 6 years with the same person.

(Of course, let’s assume that Former Boy won’t have the same issues seeing as he HADN’T had sex with the same person, me, for over 6 years.  He might have made it a couple years or more.  I’m being generous in believing or giving credit for at least a full 3.)

Digression, digression.

So sex.  With someone new.  What an alien concept.

And I have to tell you… first of all, the circumcision thing?  Ok, so yeah, my first reaction was, “Ok, so not a big deal at all.  Hardly seems to matter.”

But as time goes on and we adjust to each other and you readjust your angles and mold to each other, I’ve had genuine moments, in the heat of THE moment, where I’ve thought, “Oooh… so maybe it actually is better, this uncircumcised business…” and then a couple thoughts of, “Ooh… Aaaaah… Ok, so … Mmmm… yeah… that’s lovely… maybe it’s actually better.”

I can’t exactly explain these moments where I thought such things because… well, it would be really hard to describe, and anyway – do you really need that much detail?  Ew, I think not.

It’s hard not to study every moment and file it away.  There’s been this beautiful slowness to the whole thing, sexually.  There was that first frantic night, after many, many drinks when he shamelessly lunged for me as we said goodnight, and impressed the hell out of me for his boldness, because I can’t stand it when men leave room for ambiguity and uncertainty.  (One could argue that the poor guys don’t know whether or not a kiss would be welcome, but I prefer to just say that I want men who are confident enough to either be able to accurately read the situation and just KNOW, or be confident enough to just go for it and see.)

So he made his play and won me over.  It was frantic and messy and fumbling and not at all perfect, but exciting and full of potential.  Then frantic-ness continued for a few times, and I started to worry about our compatibility, as minor complications arose and we just couldn’t seem to get a match.

And then the pace slowed, and we started to get used to each other and figure out how things (each other) worked.  I’ve never had this before.  Well – I’ve  often jumped into bed pretty quickly, it’s  true.  But I’ve never had this slow build, the procession of things where it gets better and better every time.  It’s rather nice, I think.  (He’s been out of town for work for the past 2 weeks… the little buggar’s been taunting me with sms’s about beating our record of 5 times in one day, upon his return this Friday.)

It’s all very nice.  In the thick of things with Former Boy, I thought I’d never be able to acclimate to someone new… or hell, even ENJOY someone new.  But I can.  And I am.  And it’s blissful.

And girls, take my word for it… I’m an enthused convert – cut or uncut, it’s all good!

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